He gets to watch Thomas and sit in a Lamborghini while he gets his hair cut. It’s a tough life.
Me, to toddler sobbing on the hard floor: Are you sad?
Him: No, I just have tears and I’m drawing with them all over the floor!
Me: If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump after them?
Toddler: Yes!!! Where is the cliff?
(We look up and discuss what kinds of plants elephants eat)
Me: Elephants can eat three hundred pounds of food in a day. Can you eat three hundred pounds of food in a day?
Toddler: (thoughtfully) What kind of food?
Two-year-old, after rolling off the couch and landing on his wooden firetruck: That was a disaster!